Deborah tannens cant we talk essay

She gives us a numerous examples of misinterpretation of what is being said, on the part of men just as on the part of women and she rightfully suggests that this happens, because women and mens modes of thinking are different in its essence. Tannen argues that what defines mens logistics, is their strive for independence and dominance, while women subconsciously look for support, security and intimacy, in how they express their thoughts.

Deborah tannens cant we talk essay

Virginia has been a university English instructor for over 20 years. She specializes Deborah tannens cant we talk essay helping people write essays faster and easier.

What is a Summary, Analysis, Response Essay? Summary, Analysis, Response Papers are a way to understand and think about what you read. These papers can be assigned as part of a research project.

My College English students learn to thoroughly understand their sources by writing a page paper on each source which: Write the main ideas of the article in your own words.

Describe who the author is and what audience they are trying to persuade this article. Evaluate the structure of the text and the techniques of argument the author has used and how well the article is written to persuade that audience. Explain your own thoughts about this article.

Evaluate what you think on this issue and relate it to your own experiences or other things you have read. Tell how you can use this article in your research paper.

The article originally appeared in The Washinton Post, and is frequently included in College English Textbooks, but can also be found on Deborah Tannen's website. Tannen suggests misunderstanding is at the heart of most marriage problems. Tannen notes that her own research concluded that women's most frequent complaint in marriage was that their husbands did not listen to them, but that when she examined actual conversations, she found that the problem was not that men don't listen, but that they listen differently.

Using her own research and that of other psychologists and sociologists, Tannen outlines the idea that men and women are raised to communicate differently. Little girls bond by sharing secrets and comforting each other by sharing stories, looking into one another's eyes, and becoming intimate through vulnerability.

Boys, on the other hand, live in a hierarchical world where they need to struggle to find their place. Tannen's research shows that men do bond, but it is by negotiating in a more competitive environment where listening for too long makes them feel they are put down, and where they share problems in order to have a friend give them solutions or to be reassured the problem isn't important.

These differences in expectations about close relationships, Tannen concludes, causes men and women to be frustrated in intimate relationships with the opposite sex, especially marriage.

However, Tannen reassures us, learning about these communication differences can help couples to say what they really mean and hear what the other person is really trying to communicate. Tannen asks us to move away from psychological models of relationships which assign blame to one sex or the other and to instead move to a sociolinguistic understanding of communication between the sexes.

Ideally, couples can adapt to one another's styles, but also understand when it is more effective to get some communication needs to be met by other friends. Ultimately, Tannen seeks to relieve the pressure on communication in marriage by giving couples more realistic expectations.

Deborah tannens cant we talk essay

The argument of "Sex, Lies, and Conversation" is one that Tannen has written about at length in her academic work and in her bestselling book, You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation. This article was written for The Washington Post at the time of her book's publication and is a summary of her main ideas as well as an advertisement for her book.

How Well does the Author Appeal to the Audience? Generally, a linguist doesn't speak to a mass audience, and so Tannen's attempt to apply the discourse of linguistic studies to everyday life is a bit audacious, but her use of everyday examples, such as the talkative man at a dinner party who is silent at home, and the woman who feels her boyfriend is ignoring her when he lies down when she is speaking makes her work accessible to her intended audience, a typical married couple.

Moreover, Tannen for the most part avoids academic terms although she can't help but make a jab at psychologists and their "mechanical engineering" which she suggests tend to evolve into a blame game and presents her arguments in common language that her audience can understand, even ending with a pithy re-writing of an old favorite: While this article doesn't fully explain how a couple can actually achieve that effective cross-cultural communication, Tannen does give a few specific tips such as not assuming that your spouse isn't listening just because they don't give you the non-verbal cues you expect.

Primarily, this article makes the reader consider re-thinking their attitudes and actions towards communicating with the opposite sex, and, moreover, makes the reader interested in reading more about Tannen's ideas, which is, of course, one of her purposes in writing the article.

Tannen argues communicating effectively is key for a long marriage. Source Response My Personal Reaction After reading this article, I began to think about my own communication with my husband in the previous week. As a matter of fact, we had experienced a miscommunication which was exactly the type Tannen describes.

Thinking the matter through from the lens of the differences in communication styles that this article presents actually helped me to clarify why my husband had been upset, and why my response had not satisfied it.

Men learn hierarchical socialization and conversation Source How Article Will Help My Research Paper This article will be useful in my paper exploring the question, "How can a couple have a marriage that lasts a lifetime?

Your Response What do you think about the ideas in Deborah Tannen's article?

What is a Summary, Analysis, Response Essay?

Do you think that men and women really do communicate differently? Do you have any personal experiences you'd like to share? I'd love for you to add your response in the comments below. How do You like Friends to Help?Nov 13,  ·?Can?t We Talk???If You Understood Me!!?

gap between the genders and how it interferes with communication and understanding. Deborah Tannen structures her essay in a way that makes it easy for the reader.

Deborah tannens cant we talk essay

Essay about Deborah Tannen's Can't We Talk Words | 5 Pages Deborah Tannen's Can't We Talk Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. In contemporary society biological factors are no longer the sole components that distinguish men and women.

Rather anything from clothing or hairstyles to make-up or accessories can indicate specific messages about an individual. Deborah Tannen's Can't We Talk - Deborah Tannen's Can't We Talk Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class.

It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. We will write a custom essay sample on Deborah tannens the argument culture specifically for you for only $ $/page. We have essays on the following topics that may be of interest to you.

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Communication styles of men and women, Tannen

START NOW. 24/7 Support. Money Back Guarantee. Can T We Talk By Deborah Tannen. A CRITICAL SUMMARY OF DEBORAH TANNEN'S "THE POWER OF TALK: WHO GETS HEARD AND WHY Tannen, D. " The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why".From _Linguistics at Work: A Reader of Applications_, edited by Dallin D.

Oaks There is no particular way to communicate .

Source Essay On but What Do You Mean By Deborah Tannen , Sample of Essays